Wednesday, May 23, 2012

What do We Really NEED?

Today, after a number of days of a persistent rain, the sun finally came out this afternoon. It feels good to open the windows and doors, to go out and sit on the deck and look at the blue skies.

When I sit here, looking around me and absorbing all the beauty around me, I ponder about how blessed I am. I have lovely, respectful and successful children, I have two wonderful ex-husbands that regardless of our ended marriages we are still good friends. They were and still are an important part of my life and we all have a harmonious relationship. I had and still have friends that are worth having.

I live on this little loft on the beach, its peace and quiet has taught me in abundance what the true meaning of solitude is. I have learned to enjoy it. When I am out on a busy day filled with appointments and driving, when I feel like I am getting overwhelmed, I close my eyes for a second, take a deep breath and think about home, think about my little paradise, my flowers, the birds, frogs and all that is waiting for me after a long day.

My home is just big enough to welcome friends and family, a large deck oversees Buzzards Bay and on clear days I can see Martha's Vineyards, a large front yard and beach frontage allows me to entertain, have fun and enjoy people I love, yet is small enough that at the end of the day they can't overstay their welcome.

It just works perfect for me. Don't take me wrong I wonder what will happen when grandkids finally arrive and I want to spend more time with them? I think about them and I guess in a way I even dream about them...I know there are still another 6 years to go or so that's what my children tell me, they tell me to chill out and be patient, Ha!!! looks like they forgot who they are talking to. But I know all will come in its own time and when that time come I will be ready, one way or another.

Anyhow I don't mean that people shouldn't worry or care about having nice things. I, myself, love beautiful things, I say that I was born a millionaire but they forgot to tell the rest of the world about it. You know millionaire taste on a salary budget, however I am glad that over the years I came to learn that what makes a house a home has nothing to do with nice and expensive furniture and accessories. It is not all the stuff we can fill a house with that we value in the end.

What really matters is the space we create in our hearts for friends and family, is to see friends coming over and feeling comfortable enough to rest their feet on the coffee table, or take their shoes off and cross their legs on the couch, or go and browse the fridge themselves or see that they know where to find the beach towels.

The pleasure I feel inside every time a loved one does that, makes me realize that I might not have it all, that life might still have a lot of things, good and bad to bring to my plate, that many surprises will come but here and now I am happy and fulfilled, that at this moment I have achieved the simple and satisfying life I always wanted.

When, on days like today, after few days of intermittent rain, I come outside and look at this view, I realize that nothing can be that bad...every bump, every hill, every falling down are just little temporary hiccups along the path, all will be fine, just breathe, take all in and move forward towards the bright future that lies right ahead.

N. Cardoso 05/23/2012

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